This Is Why I Belong to My Church

I'm not particularly religious. In fact, I'm pretty damn close to being an agnostic. I question everything in the Bible and in traditional Christian dogma, and the only thing that I feel sure of is that there is such a thing as God. I only feel sure of that because I can't imagine the universe appearing out of nothing; some force had to have created it.

To anybody who knows me or who has read some of the previous entries on my blog, this is old news. I will gladly discuss my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) to anybody who listens. However, what I don't think I've talked about here a whole lot is that I actually do go to church. I am a member of Living Table United Church of Christ, and if it wasn't for that church I'm pretty sure I would've turned my back on Christianity long ago.

I guess the reason why I love being a member of Living Table is because everyone is welcome there, even those who wouldn't be welcome at other so-called "Christian" churches. Much of the congregation is made up of members of the GLBTQ community, a group that I feel has been unfairly ostracized and vilified all too often in mainstream Christianity for things that I've come to believe aren't even sinful. I have to admit to being a little nervous the first time I went to Living Table. I may be a GLBTQ ally, but I'm not part of that community. I half expected someone in the congregation to question my reasons for being there and tell me that I don't belong. That never happened. I was welcomed with open arms, just like everyone else who attends a service either as a visitor or member of the congregation. There are Christians, agnostics, pagans and at least one person who was raised Jewish in the congregation, and while most of them are GLBTQ it's clear that Living Table isn't intended as a "gay church" like I'm sure certain people would call it. Everyone is welcome and accepted there, and nobody is called upon to change who they are and repent their "sinful" lifestyles. That's what attracted me to the church, and that's why I'm proud to be a member.

And yet, my membership of Living Table doesn't change the fact that I think Christianity in America is royally screwed up for the most part. I got a sad reminder of that yesterday when I had heard that our pastor was performing a funeral service. Of course, that's not unusual. Pastors perform funeral services all the time. The thing that bothered me about this was that our pastor was the fifth pastor asked to perform the funeral. The first four who were asked refused to do it.

Why would four different pastors refuse to honor the passing of one of God's own children? Well, it turns out that this particular child of God was a transgender sex worker and therefore a sinner whose life is apparently better served as an example of how not to live.

I was stunned when I heard this news, but I probably shouldn't have been. I came to the conclusion long ago that much of mainstream American Christianity is horribly intolerant. I'm not sure if it's getting worse or if people these days are more likely to express things that conservative Christians frown upon, but it's getting harder and harder for me to hear about Christians and not imagine a group of elitist bigots who are quick to pass judgment on anybody different from them. I understand that not everybody will be comfortable with someone who is transgender, and I know plenty of people think sex work is amoral, but refusing to show respect for a person by not performing their funeral goes against everything that Christianity is supposed to stand for. I was taught that Christians should not only be compassionate and caring, but also forgiving. The fact that four pastors refused to perform this person's funeral is just sickening.

I like to call myself an agnostic Christian. The only reason why I don't call myself completely agnostic is because of Living Table and the brand of Christianity of the United Church of Christ. As far as I'm concerned, that is real Christianity; refusing to honor someone who has just died because you didn't approve of their lifestyle is not Christian.