Why I Hate Debating Abortion

The 2012 Presidential Election is almost upon us, and like every election year abortion is a major issue. As always, there seems to be two main camps with regards to abortion: those who are pro-choice and those who are pro-life. Those on the pro-choice side believe that having an abortion should be a legal option for women facing unwanted pregnancies, while those who are pro-life believe that abortion is ethically wrong and should be outlawed.

This argument is not new; it has been around since before the landmark Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court ruling in 1973, and I don’t think it will go away anytime soon. If abortion were made 100 percent illegal with no exceptions until the end of time, there will still be people fighting tooth and nail for a woman’s right to choose.

Yes, the debate over abortion rights is a complex one that often leads to some spirited arguments, and I hate it with every fiber of my being.

It’s not that I don’t think abortion is a complex issue or that it isn’t worthy of discussion. It’s a very complex issue with a lot of grey area, and there are few things I enjoy more than a spirited debate over a complicated topic. I should be happy to jump into an abortion debate and come out swinging, but I’m not. Aside from this blog post, I try to avoid the issue like the plague.

The only high-profile politician who has said anything about abortion recently that I can totally get behind is Vice President Joe Biden. At the recent vice presidential candidate debate, he said that he believes abortion is wrong. However, he doesn’t believe that he or anybody else has the right to make decisions regarding abortion for other people, and I agree with him. I don’t believe in abortion, and if I were a woman I would never consider it for myself except in very extreme circumstances, but I won’t force my beliefs on others. If someone were to tell me that she’s having an abortion, I wouldn’t stop her. I’d tell her that I disagree with her decision if she asked me how I felt, but in the end it’s her decision to make. Besides, outlawing abortion will create its own problems. There will always be women seeking to terminate their pregnancies, and if they can't do it legally and safely they'll resort to dangerous methods that could endanger their lives.

Technically, I would be pro-choice; I’m all for letting women make this personal decision on their own without interference from the government. Sadly, I don’t think I can tell people that I’m pro-choice, because all certain people will hear is that I’m perfectly fine with killing babies. I could clear things up and say that I don’t personally believe in abortion, but that would place me in the pro-life camp, which means that I don’t believe women should have the right to make decisions about their own bodies.

That’s the problem I have with the abortion issue: too many people see it in black and white while ignoring the shades of grey. Like I said before, abortion is a complex issue, and expecting someone to take one of two opposing stances makes absolutely no sense to me. If I were to take any hard-line stance on abortion, I would be seen as a horrible person by those taking the opposite stance. Since I don’t completely agree with either side, I just choose to not take a side even though that’s apparently not good enough for a lot of people.

So that’s all I want to say about abortion. I understand that it’s an important issue, but until people can talk rationally about it and see how complex it really is I prefer to keep out of it.

Hello. I'm a Straight Ally.

Yesterday was International Coming Out Day, which is of course a big day for the GLBTQ community. Since I’m not GLBTQ myself, I couldn’t really take the opportunity to come out yesterday. I’m not gay, I’m not transgender and I’m pretty sure I’m not bisexual. What I am is a straight ally, something that I believe I’ve mentioned on this blog before. This means that the only way I could really celebrate International Coming Out Day was to share an image on Facebook of a name tag that says “Hello. I’m a Straight Ally.”

Yeah, I’m sure you’re thinking that I’m one of those people who think that “liking” or sharing a status on Facebook makes me an activist. Believe me when I say that I know better. The people who think clicking “like” on Facebook brings us closer to solving all of the world’s problems are irritating to be sure, and I hope I don’t come across as that kind of person. Still, I’d like to think sharing that image meant something. I am a straight GLBTQ ally, something that I think is still important.

It’s pretty clear that things have gotten a lot better for GLBTQ people, but they’re still far from perfect. For example, Minnesota has a constitutional amendment on the ballot next month that will define marriage as between one man and one woman. Same-sex marriage is already illegal in Minnesota, but a constitutional amendment would make legalization next to impossible. It would limit the civil rights of a large part of the population and effectively invalidate long-term same-sex relationships, relationships that I feel are just as special and important as any “traditional” heterosexual marriage. On top of this pretty blatant attack on civil rights, GLBTQ people are still treated as pariahs and freaks in many parts of this country. They face discrimination, harassment and even threats of violence just because of who they are.

The reason why I feel being a GLBTQ ally is so important is because it would be too easy for someone like me to turn a blind eye to all of this. I’m a white heterosexual male; I’m not personally affected by the plight of the GLBTQ population. I don’t have to worry about not being able to marry the Love of my life. I can go out with her in public and not have to worry about being harassed or attacked. When I hear about the prejudice faced by a queer person, I could just say “Well, that sucks,” and come home to my wife without giving it a second thought. A lot of people do exactly that. In fact, they’re all but expected to do exactly that. Many people still see homosexuality, bisexuality, transgenderism and all things queer as deviant, immoral and sinful, and us straight people are expected to heap scorn and ridicule onto queer people for not being “normal.” Some would say that I’m not supposed to side with queer people lest I be seen as one of them. I know this attitude isn't as prevalent as it was ten or fifteen years ago, but it’s still out there.

As a white heterosexual male, I’m part of the majority. I may not have a lot of influence in anything personally, but when I go out in public I’m still more likely to be acknowledged than a lot of other people. I have a voice, and as much as I hate to admit it, my voice is more likely to be heard above others just because of who I am. A recent report from the Williams Institute found that only about four percent of the country’s population identifies as gay, bisexual or transgender. That’s a fairly small minority, and if these people were left to stand alone they would remain marginalized. They need support just to have the same rights as everybody else. I’m happy to provide what little support I have to offer, and I’m always glad to find other straight allies who feel the same way.

For what it’s worth, I’m proud to be an ally of the GLBTQ community. I’m proud to stand up for the rights of others, even if those “others” aren't always popular. I can only hope that there are enough people out there who agree with me.