Of course some women drink too much. Of course it's a problem.

Last week, I had to write a 400-word article about famous female alcoholics who became sober. I figured that since it’s only 400 words on a topic that should be easy to research through Google, it wouldn’t take me that long to write it.

Well, it turns out I was wrong. I spent more time than anybody ever should on 400 words to write that article, simply because there simply wasn’t much information on famous female alcoholics. Yes, there was Betty Ford, but she was about the only name who came up on most sites. Nearly every other article I could find talked at great length about Eric Clapton, Robert Downey, Jr. and other famous men who struggled with alcoholism, but I had a lot of trouble finding any information on famous women who sobered up aside from stupid tabloid articles that print any salacious rumor out there as absolute fact.

So basically there was a severe shortage of information on famous female alcoholics compared to information on famous male alcoholics. I’ve been trying to wrap my head around why this was the case. Just because alcoholism is 2 ½ times more common among men than women doesn’t mean that women don’t have drinking problems, so why did I have so much trouble finding information about female alcoholics? I know Google occasionally drops the research ball for me thanks to overzealous SEO Internet marketers clogging up the web with pointless articles, but I didn't think I would have that much trouble finding relevant information.

I know part of the problem is good old fashioned misogyny. Since men are more “important” than women in society’s eyes whether people like to admit it or not, we’re less likely to hear about women or their problems. We want to hear about strong men of integrity who overcome deadly addictions to live good, long healthy lives, but apparently the same thing can’t be said about women. It’s a real shame, and as a feminist it’s something that I’ve always found irritating. Even when we’re not talking about people overcoming dangerous vices, women are basically dismissed by society. If a man accomplishes something important, it’s because he’s smart, strong and everything a man is supposed to be. If a woman does the same thing, people are in awe of the fact that something important was accomplished by a woman instead of a man. It’s not nearly as bad as it once was, but that attitude still exists in our society even when people like to pretend that it doesn’t.

Another reason why I think it was so hard to find the information I needed  was because in my experiences people react differently to drunk men than they do to drunk women. Specifically, they’re far more likely to notice a man who drinks to excess and see it as a problem. Although there always seem to be guys who encourage their friends’ wild, “funny” drunken behavior, I often notice that people regard male drunks as problems waiting to happen. Guys are seen as more likely to be the kind of destructive, occasionally violent drunks that do really stupid things and cause trouble. People try to stay away from them, or at least I do. Meanwhile, girls who get drunk are just seen as having fun. They’re letting their hair down and having a blast with their girlfriends. They’re laughing, dancing and flirting with guys. People don’t look at these women and see them as having a problem.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve noticed that society is dismissive of the problem of alcohol abuse in women. I’ve been to plenty of parties where people think the giggly drunk girls who are flirting with all the guys are fun while thinking that the drunk guys are obnoxious. They rarely saw the girls’ behavior as problematic, which was problematic in itself. The guys at these parties didn't seem to realize (or care) that some of those drunk girls who were flirting with them would get drunk regularly and be just as self-destructive as that guy who trashes his friends' houses, starts fights and crashes his car when he has too much to drink.

These are just my own opinions and theories, but I really think this dismissive attitude towards women who drink extends into our fascination with celebrities. The famous men who have beaten alcoholism become role models for young and old men because of their strength, courage and determination. From what I could tell in my research for my article last week, women don’t have the same role models. I don’t doubt that there are plenty of famous women who have conquered alcoholism and other vices, but it doesn’t seem that people talk about them quite as much. I think it’s time for that to change.

Then again, maybe I'm thinking too much about this, and my inner rabble-rousing feminist is seeing a bigger problem that isn't there while I rage about the occasional uselessness of Google.

What do you think?

This Is Why I Belong to My Church

I'm not particularly religious. In fact, I'm pretty damn close to being an agnostic. I question everything in the Bible and in traditional Christian dogma, and the only thing that I feel sure of is that there is such a thing as God. I only feel sure of that because I can't imagine the universe appearing out of nothing; some force had to have created it.

To anybody who knows me or who has read some of the previous entries on my blog, this is old news. I will gladly discuss my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) to anybody who listens. However, what I don't think I've talked about here a whole lot is that I actually do go to church. I am a member of Living Table United Church of Christ, and if it wasn't for that church I'm pretty sure I would've turned my back on Christianity long ago.

I guess the reason why I love being a member of Living Table is because everyone is welcome there, even those who wouldn't be welcome at other so-called "Christian" churches. Much of the congregation is made up of members of the GLBTQ community, a group that I feel has been unfairly ostracized and vilified all too often in mainstream Christianity for things that I've come to believe aren't even sinful. I have to admit to being a little nervous the first time I went to Living Table. I may be a GLBTQ ally, but I'm not part of that community. I half expected someone in the congregation to question my reasons for being there and tell me that I don't belong. That never happened. I was welcomed with open arms, just like everyone else who attends a service either as a visitor or member of the congregation. There are Christians, agnostics, pagans and at least one person who was raised Jewish in the congregation, and while most of them are GLBTQ it's clear that Living Table isn't intended as a "gay church" like I'm sure certain people would call it. Everyone is welcome and accepted there, and nobody is called upon to change who they are and repent their "sinful" lifestyles. That's what attracted me to the church, and that's why I'm proud to be a member.

And yet, my membership of Living Table doesn't change the fact that I think Christianity in America is royally screwed up for the most part. I got a sad reminder of that yesterday when I had heard that our pastor was performing a funeral service. Of course, that's not unusual. Pastors perform funeral services all the time. The thing that bothered me about this was that our pastor was the fifth pastor asked to perform the funeral. The first four who were asked refused to do it.

Why would four different pastors refuse to honor the passing of one of God's own children? Well, it turns out that this particular child of God was a transgender sex worker and therefore a sinner whose life is apparently better served as an example of how not to live.

I was stunned when I heard this news, but I probably shouldn't have been. I came to the conclusion long ago that much of mainstream American Christianity is horribly intolerant. I'm not sure if it's getting worse or if people these days are more likely to express things that conservative Christians frown upon, but it's getting harder and harder for me to hear about Christians and not imagine a group of elitist bigots who are quick to pass judgment on anybody different from them. I understand that not everybody will be comfortable with someone who is transgender, and I know plenty of people think sex work is amoral, but refusing to show respect for a person by not performing their funeral goes against everything that Christianity is supposed to stand for. I was taught that Christians should not only be compassionate and caring, but also forgiving. The fact that four pastors refused to perform this person's funeral is just sickening.

I like to call myself an agnostic Christian. The only reason why I don't call myself completely agnostic is because of Living Table and the brand of Christianity of the United Church of Christ. As far as I'm concerned, that is real Christianity; refusing to honor someone who has just died because you didn't approve of their lifestyle is not Christian.