Today my lovely wife was talking to a couple of young men on Twitter. She had just met these guys, and she apparently was having a pleasant enough conversation with them until one of them asked for a picture of her “big titties.” Not surprisingly, my wife was offended by his request and let him have it with both barrels. He responded by calling her a slut (because “slut” apparently means someone who doesn’t take her clothes off at the merest suggestion now). She wasn’t happy about it, but she just shrugged it off and went about her day just as she should have. After all, the Internet is full of asshats who like to take shots at people just because they can.
Still, the whole incident had me thinking about how guys talk to women, especially online. Specifically, it got me thinking about how guys really don’t know how to talk to women. Practically every woman I know has at least one story of some moron sending her messages on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, MMORPGs like World of Warcraft or any other format that allows people to communicate with each other over the Web with such thoughtful romantic messages like “ur hawt,” “show ur titties” or “lets fuckk.” It’s not always trolling, either. Some of these guys really do seem to think that sending out these messages will get them laid. After all, they’re paying these women compliments, right? They should be flattered that someone is taking an interest in them.
I know part of it is just the anonymity of the Internet; it is and always has been a breeding ground for the most obnoxious trolls imaginable. I think there’s more to it than that, though. I think part of it has to do with this sense of entitlement that a lot of men in our society have when it comes to women. We’re basically taught that not only can a man have a beautiful woman if he wants one, but that he deserves to have one. All he has to do is show interest in a woman, and she’s expected to just go along with whatever he wants. Any woman who says otherwise is wrong and deserves the label of “bitch,” “slut” or whatever nasty name a guy can come up with.
Of course, this doesn’t just happen online, either. I’ve seen plenty of instances of guys saying whatever they want to women and acting genuinely surprised when they get shot down. It just seems to get worse on the Internet where people have enough anonymity to be able to say things that they wouldn’t dare say to someone’s face. Still, I can’t help thinking that we’ll soon have an entire generation of men who think the proper way to talk to a woman is to basically proposition her and assume she must be a frigid bitch if she isn’t into it.
It should go without saying that this is not the right way to talk to a woman, and yet it looks like someone has to say it. I’ve seen other unfortunate aspects of what I call Internet culture seep into other aspects of our lives. I’ve heard people actually say things like “LOL” or “OMG” out loud (they sound like idiots, by the way), so I have to wonder if going up to a girl and saying “ur hawt show me ur titties” is going to be an actual pickup line for a certain brand of socially awkward male who grew up on message boards and MMORPGs. I can see them getting shocked that it doesn’t work, and I’m not sure whether to laugh or weep for the future.
Hey guys, here’s a radical thought: if you like a girl, try talking to her like a human being instead of something that’s only there to please you. Trust me. That’s how most healthy relationships start, not with some lame attempt to get a girl to show her “big titties” over the Internet.
No comments:
Post a Comment