Yes, An Openly Gay Man will Soon Play in the NFL. Deal With It and Move On.

You've probably seen this video by now, but it still deserves a signal boost. It deserves all the signal boosts.

I don't think there's much more I can add to what Dale Hansen said in this video or about the fact that we will likely see an openly gay man play in the NFL. However, I will point out that the supposed "controversy" surrounding it reminds me why I kind of hate professional sports.

As Mr. Hansen pointed out, people are willing to forgive a lot when it comes to their precious star athletes. No matter what these players do, there are always people willing to get down on their knees and worship them for their godlike ability to run fast and throw a ball really far. Was an NFL player arrested for driving drunk? He's probably learned his lesson and will never do it again. Was he caught with a bunch of hookers and drugs in a hotel room? He's just having some fun and we should give him a break. Did he beat up his girlfriend? She probably did something to deserve it. Did a woman accuse him of rape? She's probably lying. As long as he could take his team to the Super Bowl, we're willing to sweep everything under the rug.

But wait! What if he happens to find other men attractive? Well, we can't have that, can we? That would be too much of a distraction and make all the jock-sniffing dudebros uncomfortable.

In a perfect world, nobody would care about Michael Sam's sexual orientation. Sadly, we don't live in that perfect world. It pains me to say this, but I think Sam's sexuality will be an issue for at least the first year or so of his NFL career simply because people will make it an issue. I can see the media making a big deal over it, and I can imagine that there will be plenty of homophobic football fans who won't be able to see past it. 

So, does this mean that I think Michael Sam should never have come out of the closet? Absolutely not. This is something that I think has to happen, if only to prove to the naysayers and bigots that simply having an openly gay player won't affect the game of football. There have always been GLBT people in literally all walks of life, and that includes professional sports. People need to accept that and move on, just as they need to accept the fact that a person's sexual orientation is a small part of who they are.

In some ways, I think the culture surrounding football is a little backwards. A lot of players, coaches and fans seem to hold onto the ideal of the "man's man," a concept that has become painfully outdated. A football player can be gay and be just as tough and just as talented as anybody else on the field. People are talking all about how Michael Sam is a gay man who plays football, but they need to see him as a football player who just happens to be gay. Or better yet, just a football player.

The Straight White Male Activist

If you take a look at some of my previous posts on this blog, you’ll notice that I often talk about feminism, GLBTQ issues and racism. It should come as no surprise that I’m not shy about being a feminist or that I’m quick to point out homophobia, racism and other intolerant bullshit. You could say that I’m an activist, although I don’t do nearly as much about it as some people do. Unfortunately, there’s one thing that makes me feel kind of guilty sometimes. I may be a feminist and GLBTQ ally who rails against racism and bigotry, but I’m also a heterosexual white male. It’s not that I feel particularly guilty about being a heterosexual white male; it’s that sometimes I’m worried that I might become part of the problem instead of the solution.

I’m probably not making a whole lot of sense to some of you, but hear me out. One could argue that it’s easier for a member of a persecuted minority to engage in activism because they are standing up for their own rights as well as the rights of others. Unfortunately, since society still doesn’t treat certain minorities with much respect, some of this activism falls on deaf ears. Society is still largely dominated by heterosexual white males who have probably never experienced the bigotry that women, people of color, the GLBTQ community and other minority groups experience on a regular basis. Many are blind to the problems that minorities face every day, so they don’t understand why activism is so important. Some laugh off efforts to make positive changes, while others are openly hostile. Many others just choose not to see the plight of anybody who isn’t like them. In the end, they resist any positive changes that people try to make, which is why activism can be so difficult.

However, every so often you can find straight white males who are on board with an activist cause. They are right there on the picket lines standing up for persecuted minorities, and since they are members of the dominant culture, people take notice. Suddenly, a cause that may have been ridiculed or ignored has some validity. If these “normal” guys are standing up for it, it must be important after all.

Personally, I have a huge problem with this. I don’t have a problem with straight white male activists since I think standing up for social justice is always admirable. What I have a problem with is this notion that minorities need to be “saved” by the dominant culture. Whenever a straight white male openly stands for something, I can practically feel people’s minds changing in ways that just don’t happen when anybody else stands for the same issue. Yes, it’s great that it grabs people’s attention, but in a way it also contributes to the bigotry inherent in society. It tells me that the only people that matter are the straight white males, and the only things that matter are the things that are important to them. Meanwhile, any causes that don’t find the right champions are kept on the fringes of society where they remain invisible.

This is something that I’ve been struggling with. I am a straight white male who stands up for causes that don’t affect other straight white males. I may not have a lot of influence, but people will be more willing to listen to what I have to say just because of who I am. I could look at this as using my white privilege for a good cause, but I can’t help thinking that I’m contributing to the bigotry inherent in our society.

Activists shouldn’t need straight white guys like myself to validate their causes. Sadly, mainstream society often says otherwise, and I don’t know how that’s going to change. It’s really a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” scenario. Straight white culture is still considered the norm, and lots of people will reject anybody who doesn’t fit into the norm. It’s sad and frustrating, and I wish I could say that things could be different.

So, what does all of this mean for me? Well, I’m certainly not going to give up standing up for what I believe in. I can’t do that any more than I can change who I am. I’m also not going to tell other straight white males to turn their backs on other activist causes. I just think we need to be conscious of this sad and frustrating fact while working towards a future where everyone is respected and nobody needs to be “saved” by a dominant culture.

Yes, Listen to the bigot. You might learn something.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Bryan Fischer, president of The American Family Association.

(Note: Before you watch the following video, know that I do not agree with or endorse anything it says.  What you are about to hear is vile, disgusting bullshit spewed from the mouth of a vile, disgusting human being.)




You may be wondering why I, a staunch advocate for GLBT rights and same-sex marriage, decided to post this.  I should hate this video with every fiber of my being, but I can't.  The truth is that I'm actually kind of glad that Fischer made his point of view known.  I'm glad that he came out and said that not only is he firmly against homosexuality, but that he believes that Christians should be able to discriminate against GLBT people.

This all might sound crazy, but to me it does make some kind of sense.  As an advocate for GLBT rights, I often find myself surrounded by like-minded people.  Most of my friends these days are GLBT or GLBT supportive.  There are a few who aren't, but for the most part they're respectful and civil enough to not openly discriminate against GLBT people.  The thing about almost always being around people who are accepting of GLBT people is that I'm not often exposed to anybody with a truly hateful or prejudiced mindset.  It's almost like I forget that there are still plenty of truly homophobic people out there, people who still believe that there is a "homosexual agenda" that will destroy this country unless we start treating gay people as subhuman.

I sometimes need a reminder of what GLBT people and their allies are truly fighting against.  It's too easy for me to look around at the many happy same-sex couples that I know and marvel at how much better life is for them than it would've been just a few decades ago.  It's too easy for me to forget that there are people that truly believe that gays are horrible people who are no different from deranged criminals or terrorists, so much so that I'm shocked whenever someone like Bryan Fischer steps forward and voices his hateful and prejudiced views on homosexuality.

I cannot let myself be shocked by this though, and neither should anyone else.  The fact of the matter is that while things have gotten better for GLBT people across the country, homophobia and prejudice towards anybody who is openly not straight are still serious problems.  Things like this video and the radio show where I'm sure Fischer regularly spews similarly vile, disgusting bullshit are reminders of this.  We need to know that mindsets such as this are still out there, and that we need to fight against it.

So when you hear somebody talking about how much of a threat the "homosexual agenda" is to religious freedom, don't get angry at the people saying these things.  They're letting us know what GLBT people and their allies are up against.  Thanks to them, we know about the attitudes we need to change.  It's these attitudes that truly deserve your anger, and hopefully in a few years we can convince others how archaic and backwards this discriminatory mindset really is.